Our Greatest Show
I make the impossible... happen
Here’s the thing: I won’t sugarcoat. Raising five kids with two parents is fucking hard; as a single parent with 24/7 parenting time, it is impossible, fucking impossible. I don’t get a break. The last holiday I went on happened eleven years ago. I'm running non-stop 24/7 with no one to lessen the load. They are 12, 10, 9, 7 and 5, and I am constantly dealing with emotional and physical needs from opposite ends of the spectrum. One is frustrated with the letter A, while the other is starting to open the box to his first big kid puzzle, aka, a relationship. The ones in the middle have their needs, which I am called to meet.
I make the impossible… happen.
As I've been told, I get shit done.
What about the financial burden? In the economy, I need $2.5 Million to raise five, and here I am; without the help of my family, I would be homeless. I am not covering the shit anymore; I don't get child or spousal support and before you get the idea to tell me, “Bre, get Maitenance Enforcement involved,” let me tell you, THEY ARE! I have dotted my i’s and crossed my t’s. I don't receive a dime from their dad, and the financial help I receive isn't for pleasure; it is to keep a roof on our heads. The money I work for pays bills with nothing in between.
And what about me? Well, I pull all of the strings. People ask me all of the time, “How the fuck do you do it?” My answer remains the same, “I don't have a fucking choice.” What am I going to do? Lay in bed wallowing? I have laundry piles everywhere. At times, I stay up till 2 am working. I survive on 3-5 hours of sleep. I have a support system made up of unicorns. FIVE HUMANS rely on me EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm not here to show them whining and wallowing. I am here to show them tenacity and grit. I am here to show them the power of self, the power of change, so I show the fuck up.
More than showing up for them, I show up for myself. These photos you see here was the life path chosen for me. I didn't pick it. Hard pill; I would have never had five children if it were not for the cult. That is the truth, but my love for them surpasses earthly boundaries. However, that path was chosen. The cards were dealt, I got a shitty fucking hand and I have to play it. Six years ago, I changed how I played the cards and began to win. I am winning daily.. with them.
I'm figuring myself out along with them, and that is the beauty of us. I'm right in the trenches of self with them. We share a vulnerability many could and can only dream of. I've grown up with them—hell, I'm growing with them now—and we share a bond like no other.
Yes, our path is not standard, but what is normal anyway?
Welcome to the circus. My circus. Our Circus.
Our Greatest Show.
This is courageous love❤️
