Seen & Heard

He gives a love I didn’t know existed

My mom once told me that when it comes to gift-giving, high monetary value may make a quick impression, but thoughtful gifts leave a lasting impression.

For the first thirty years, I was unseen and not heard. Used, silenced, and invisible in my marriage, I quickly learned that what I desired did not please my husband, and pleasing him kept his anger at bay.

He preferred me in black rather than the bright and bold I adore. His reactions to my outfits relayed inadequacy, and I would quickly change to appease him.

Engaging in conversation with me pained him greatly. Understanding and getting to know an ever-evolving me were of the least importance to him.

If the conversation did not reference Apex Legends, “Why would I want to talk about that?” was his reply to my interests, intrigues and dislikes.

Being seen and heard has been a foreign concept.

Until him.

Listening to me is an active act of his love. Whether it is for 30 seconds or hours on end, I have never been asked, “Why would I want to talk about that?” Furthermore, he doesn’t just listen; instead, he hears me.

To this man, all it takes is one mention of my interests, intrigues and dislikes for him to remember. I have found myself asking, “Are you real?” to which he giggles and giggles.

His gift-giving does not equal thousands upon thousands of dollars. Our favourite dates are 7-11 for slurpees or McDonald’s for Big Macs. Being together, seeing and hearing each other is incomparable. It’s the love I have longed for.

For my birthday, my boyfriend handmade this anklet; his passion for Renaissance art is now showcased on my body. It is made from Carerra marble, the same as the David by Michelangelo.

I'm not silenced or invisible anymore. I am seen, heard and cherished boldly.

This is thoughtfulness. This is respect.

This is love. ❤️