Seven Months

Their timeline. Their feelings. No Pressure.

Dating as a sole custody single mom, you have more than just yourself to be concerned about; the children are just as high of a priority.

You hold off introducing your new partner to your kids for months because once you do, the stakes are that much higher.

You’re the parent, but to make the system work healthily, your partner must also have a voice in parenting the children.

It’s beautifully flirtatious to get dolled up for date night; having your partner see you and your kids in the middle of a parenting battle is nervously humbling.

The integration part is unknown. It’s a three-way. It’s you and your partner, your partner with your kids and you and your partner as a unit with the kids; everyone is on their timeline.

My boyfriend and I have been dating since September 2024, and tonight was the first time my teenager sat down and engaged in a full-on conversation with us, asking questions, laughing and showing interest.

My other four children have had no hesitation, and they are at a place of comfort and consent wherein they kiss and hug my boyfriend goodnight.

My ex has dug his grave when it comes to no relationship with our children, and the children see and acknowledge it with deep pain. It’s hard enough for me at the age of 33 to deal with the lack of love and interest of my biological sperm donor; I can't imagine being 13 when the world within and outwardly is in hormone hell.

As children, it is confusing to watch your mom love someone who isn't your dad and above all else, you are adamant you will never give in and accept it.

But then, with time, you see the love and acceptance. You feel the happiness and create it, too. You witness the colour and elasticity in your mom’s smile while recognizing the peace she exudes. For the first time, safety surrounds you, and you know you will grow here, too.

There was no pressure; they simply had their timelines, and we honoured and respected their feelings.

It took seven months.

Our family is just beginning; we perfectly fit together in a way that works for us, not society.