There is No Greater Hate than Christian Love.

Wait, it's my disbelief causing harm?

I was doom-scrolling. Isn't that what you should do when you're three tequila shots deep? Maybe I'm doing this whole drinking thing wrong; there is a high probability. Go ahead, judge me; that's what happens when you spend what was supposed to be your ‘party years’ in a doomsday religious cult, barefoot and pregnant.

While scrolling through the University of Facebook, I came across a post by a Christian “friend.” At first glance, I saw the word “harm,” and it was at that moment that I knew I had to put on my tank and mask in preparation for a deep dive. I am, in fact, a certified diver. This time, I couldn't scroll past the religious fucknut bullshit. 

From the tippy top, I am going to break this fucked up pity party down.

They started by informing those who don’t believe their beliefs they are ok with us. Phew, what a relief. My self-worth was hanging by a thread on their opinion of me. While they are ok with our disbelief, they are butt hurt over our “life’s purpose” to critique that which they believe.

Next, they wanted to discuss the ‘spirituality debate.’ Belief vs Unbelief. In the cult I'm from, unbelief is the only unforgivable sin. Not rape. Not murder. Fucking unbelief. I digress. Now, they weren't opening the ‘debate’ up to all religions or all “gods,” but rather, right off the bat, they only recognized their white-washed Jesus as the one true “god.” That alone is hilarious and worthy of ridicule. Christians use every medium available to “spread the gospel.” Freedom of religion, indulge YOUrselves. You, not me. See how that works? However, when met with opposing views to their belief in a storybook, they kick and scream like toddlers denied McDonald’s; understanding sense isn't happening anytime soon. 

Them: “How does our faith in Jesus Christ bring you harm?” Me: What a self-serving question. Why don't you fucking ask yourself the real question, “How does our faith NOT cause harm?” 

Following this opening temper tantrum, they continue by downplaying the abuse and negative experiences many of us had with "religion.” Citing it is due to an inexperienced personal walk with God, simply a lack of belief in Christ. When I wrote my first blog in 2020, over ten months, I received hundreds of emails and messages from fellow humans, and it didn't matter the duration of time they followed Christ. Whether it had been a year or twenty-five years since they had left the nail-scarred clutches of an invisible skydaddy, the common denominator was the damage from the religious abuse they had endured restricted and continued to restrict them from living free and authentic. Finding our footing in the world as you know it, dear reader, is daunting. The reality is many people leave the church/cult or are kicked out and, after a space of time, go back to the church/cult where it is familiar.  

• *TRIGGER WARNING *  The following paragraph talks about suicide. Feel free to skip over.

  If not back, the only forward step many can see is that of suicide. I have attended too many funerals and continue to hear of many who take their lives due to the never-ending residual pain from the scars inflicted by a “personal walk with God.” 

Insert my love/hate relationship with cult documentaries. On one hand, I understand the draw, and I do believe the stories are essential to share. Showing the ways cults tick is educational and intriguing. However, we need more forward stories. We need the ‘Where are they now’ stories. If the survivors are thriving, how did they do it? If they are struggling, are they receiving the help they deserve? What resources are there? Spoiler alert: there is next to nothing. Fun fact: many therapists won't take us on as clients due to a lack of knowledge. They can't help. I have a family member in therapy with a therapist who told them from the very beginning that she wouldn't be able to help with the cult trauma. Cult survivors forward stories to the viewer watching would offer hope when hope is unthinkable. 

While there is a place for ‘Were you in a cult’ questionnaires,’ they do not help the night sweats or the fear of being a first-degree murderer in a movie theater because you don’t believe in Christ anymore. What does help? Relatability. Our community has been ripped out from under us, and seeing and knowing we aren't alone is a key to our outside world success. 

Also, if you're a cult “expert” who has never stepped foot into a cult and has no lived experience, I don't trust your “expertise.” Just because a man has mastered menstruation theory, that does not make him an expert. 

In another post, I will tell the story: While Ryan Reynolds had men and women drooling in desire, he was transforming me into a murderer. 

 While this Facebook “Christian” poster continued to concern themselves over the memes and pushback of imaginary Atheist harm, rolling off of their tongue effortlessly, a threat blasted towards all disbelievers. “Please don't cuss my God .. one day, you will answer for that.” Who is harming who?? First off, what's the impending doom? I love a good surprise but this one in particular is heavy with the potential to disappoint. No thanks. Secondly, to whom am I answering? A deity that ‘rabbit & carrots’ a return to his chosen group and one who can't defeat the enemy that he created? Keep gaslighting yourselves that Christ decides not to return or defeat Satan because it isn't the right time yet. 😘

“If we're wrong, what have we lost when we die? Nothing!” 

I beg to differ. The list is longer than Santas.  

“If you're wrong, your consequence is far worse.” Well, would you look at that, it’s coercive control! *Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. Coercive control is a tactic of abuse. I choose to live life without abuse. I ask again, who the fuck is harming who?? Critiques of Christianity highlight the inconsistencies of the storybook exposing the lies, deceit and, well, harm. It saves lives. In a shocking turn of events, it sets people free. Speaking of the consequence, is it in the newsletter with us because if you're threatening us with hell, Satan himself said hell is a party! I'll be making up for lost time. Who’s joining me? 

“I would rather live my life believing in God and serving Him and find out I was right than not believe in Him and not serve Him and find out I was wrong.” Good for you. Are you looking for a standing ovation? 

“I believe in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He said, “Deny me in front of your friends & I will deny you in front of my Father.””  It makes sense; a child learns patterns from their parents, and as Christ is your “father,” coercive control is genetic. You have decided to continue generational trauma. I have chosen to stop it.

“ I would rather put my faith in Jesus Christ and be judged by the world than put my faith in the world and be judged by God.” So you're good with our criticism, then? 

“Praying for every one of you.” Stop it!!! We don’t want your thoughts & prayers; they are murdering 12 children PER DAY in America. They aren't curing disease, homelessness or poverty. The greediest among us claim Christ as theirs. Use your fucking breath to end the GENOCIDE in Palestine!!! You know, things your fucking Christ could do but chooses not to. Your pastors prey on children and women. You have weaponized your Christian beliefs to deny fundamental human rights to the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Your Christ is a heartless deadbeat asshole with no fucking humanity who doesn't give a flying fuck about anybody or the earth he so-called created. 

I will criticize Christianity until the day I die and rot in my casket, as science has proven.

“There is no greater hate than Christian love.” 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have doom-scrolling to get back to. 

*definition of coercive control from www.womensaid.org